Will You Be There ?

Hold Me
Like The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say To Thee
You Are My Friend

Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
Would You Be There?

Weary
Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me
I'm Only Human

-Michael Jackson

Friendship, or what todays world understands of it, or what I understand todays world understands of it, is a matter of convenience. A case where a mutual benefit can be achieved through it. I was , unfortunately one of the few who read about friendship before experiencing it. And books as they tend to be, gave a very deep and profound meaning to friendship. Like the ones in movies. Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas. Friendship in books tend to be idealistic. Like love. Infact a lot like love. A lover as those writers saw it, was a friend with benefits. And I mean the idealistic kind of friend, not the friends with benefits as the term is used today. Why I suddenly talk about friendship is beyond the scope of this blog. Well, anything I say on this blog tends to inherit the term suddenly as I barely blog anything in the first place. But I guess it's just one of those days when I need to write something to get it out of my system.

Who is a friend? Facebook says I have 600 something friends. I wish. Well, I don't wish. Why would anyone want 600 friends at the same time? It's like having 600 wives at the same time, which is something only King Akbar could have pulled off. I am no King Akbar. And when I asked myself who a friend is, the first thing that came to my mind was the Michael Jackson song. I remember I heard this song for the first time soon after MJ's death and I loved it. As days and years passed by, I forgot the name of the song. Till I saw one of my status' on Facebook. And as I heard the song once more I realised why I liked the song so much. It reminded me of those friendships from the books I read.

It's troubling the way the word friend is used today. It shows a lack of belief in the idea of a friend. I believe you can't have more than one friend. And one friend itself is a blessing. And with all those cheesy quotes about friendship that people keep repeating and quoting, it gets a little annoying to be me. Or, maybe I just don't know who my friends are. Absolute ignorance is probably a good reason. But then whoever said 'Ignorance is Bliss' got it all wrong. And like I reduced love to Francis Bacon's Of Love, I guess friendship can be reduced to selfish human behaviour as described by Mark Twain in his 'What is Man?'. And for that very reason I believe I'm not ready to give up on it. I will hold on to my ideal friend as I hold on to my ideal lover. No harm done.

To be betrayed by a friend is like being stabbed in the heart with a flaming sword, it hurts and burns at the same time. But then you can ask yourself many questions before it starts to hurt. I'm not going all emo, I'm just going to analyse it. And it's not like the whole world reads this, hence it doesn't matter. Feeling betrayed and being betrayed are probably two different things. And most of the time it's the former thats occured. Feeling betrayed. How do you feel betrayed? When you expected something from someone and did not get it. When your feelings for him/her weren't reciprocal. When you don't show that you expect something from them which inturn they intepret as you not being close enough. Some people feel that unless they are expected to do something, they really aren't close enough. Without expectations on you, there isn't any effort for you, and without effort there may not be any attachment. Probably why opposites attract. The amount of effort put in this case is way higher than those in other cases. Now, actually being betrayed. This is obviously not possible under the idealistic characteristics of a friend and hence this doesn't come into play.

A friend to me, is someone who will be there for you, someone you want to be there for like he/she is yourself. Through thick or thin, through the endless pain and struggles, you will be together. No matter what. No matter how. And this is probably a line of ideas that creeped into my brain as I was reading thats talking. But I believe. I believe and will go to sleep with hope. However minuscule that hope might be.

As far as betrayal or what seems like betrayal goes. Mario Puzo through Vito Corleone once said : 'It's not personal. It's just good business'. And through Michael Corleone he corrects it : 'It's ALWAYS personal'. And it is, no matter what, ALWAYS personal.

Don't mind the incoherence of thoughts/ideas or probable grammar mistakes. I need some sleep and I don't really feel like proof reading/editing it. It's just thoughts flowing into words with no restrictions kept on the content.